I am taking a course right now being run by Benjamin Hardy, author of Will Power Doesn’t Work, and one of the topics discussed recently was about transaction versus transformation relationships. A transaction relationship is strictly one where one or both of the parties are only in it for themselves, as a taker, not a giver. Transformation relationships are ones in which you genuinely care about the other person, are in the relationship to give to the other person, to do what you can to help them. Like Zig Ziglar said, “you can have everything you want in life if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.” This is an example of a transformation relationship. It is not saying that transactions won’t happen, and they will, but that is not the sole objective of the relationship with that person. So I was thinking about how this relates to recruiting. Many people including both clients of a recruiter (the hiring manager or HR at the hiring client company) as well as the candidates of a recruiter, treat the relationship with the recruiter as purely transactional. “What can you do for me?” “Send me the information and if I’m interested I’ll let you know”, “Send me the resume and I’ll let you know if I want to talk to him”, “I don’t know anyone else”, “why would I want to help you earn a fee?”, “Why would I refer someone else to a great opportunity? I’d rather see them fail” etc. These are all things I hear all the time. These transactional and often selfish and low-level thoughts don’t help anyone. It is actually very detrimental. These kinds of thoughts and negative words not only push away others but actually can push away an opportunity that may have otherwise come knocking if you had put out a different vibe, one more giving and helpful. Successful recruiters have transformation relationships with successful people that last for years and all parties benefit. The next time a recruiter reaches out to you asking for help, consider these things when deciding how you want to respond. Giving begets giving and you might be surprised and what opportunities come your way!